birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
