I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
