Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
