You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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