Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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