it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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