Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
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If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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