You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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