I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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