he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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