we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
