we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
