Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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