I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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