Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
