My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize