omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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