I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
