We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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