There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
