Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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