one might say we're banned from that church
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
FUCK WHALES
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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