call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
