New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
