Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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