I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
