Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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