babies were throwing up all over the place
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
