Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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