we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
