today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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