Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pooping to opera.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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