I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
