I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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