i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
