even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize