did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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