Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
