Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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