She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
