I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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