Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that