He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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