i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
