The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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