Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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