hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
As shirtless as possible
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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