Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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