HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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