You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you would pick up someone in the library
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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