it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize