okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
