dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
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Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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