At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize