He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
