is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
