THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
