yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
