she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
