I want to walk on stilts...naked
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
