GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
