The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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