Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
