Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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